Speaker: Ven. Vimuttadhammika
Introduction & Opening Remarks
I've been spending the vassa, which is an important time for us as monks where we really stay in one place, and I've been spending it in PJ (Petaling Jaya). It's the first time I'm doing it like that, and it is so nice to have the opportunity to come here, share a little bit, and connect it to something that I'm doing in my own practice. That's the benefit of being a monk: we have more time to really practice and meditate, so I hope I can share a bit from that.
Specifically, there is one topic that I would be happy to share about, which is the role of wholesome emotions—the role of the heart—in the practice of the Dhamma.
When we think of wholesome emotions or the heart, what do we think of when it comes to the Dhamma? Are there any ideas? What are the four wholesome emotions that we hear a lot about in the suttas, that the Buddha speaks a lot about as good to cultivate?
I see someone saying metta. Metta is often translated as loving-kindness. What are the other three of the four brahmavihāras?
We have:
Metta – Loving-kindness or friendliness
Karuṇā – Compassion
Muditā – Sympathetic joy or appreciative joy (rejoicing in someone's goodness)
Upekkhā – Equanimity (a sense of spiritual balance)
These are some of the key wholesome emotions found in the suttas.
What about unwholesome emotions? We often talk about the classic three unwholesome roots in the Buddhist teachings: greed, hatred, and delusion (lobha, dosa, moha). These three serve as broad categories containing many other unwholesome mind states. For example, hatred (dosa) can be very strong, but it can also manifest as mild frustration or a little bit of anger toward someone or a situation.
The Buddha encourages us to free our hearts and minds from these unwholesome emotions. When anger arises, we find ways to let go of it and find balance. Simultaneously, the Buddha encourages us to actively develop wholesome states—like friendliness, kindness, and compassion—which can be experienced in many different forms.
Understanding and Awareness of Emotional States
Let's talk a bit more about unwholesome emotions, such as anger or frustration. How do you know when you are angry or frustrated?
One aspect is cognitive: we notice our thoughts. We might realize, "I'm thinking in a way that is connected to anger, like 'that person shouldn't do this.'" But beyond thoughts, there is a physical and emotional experience of being angry or frustrated. Often, we feel it in the body—energy building up, or fists clenching.
Unwholesome and wholesome states are also felt directly in the heart area. This is particularly clear with positive qualities like friendliness or compassion: these are emotions we can genuinely feel in the chest or heart region.
While we can be very analytical and think, "What am I thinking?", it is equally important to learn to ask: "How does my body feel? What do I feel in my heart?" This gives us valuable information about how we are doing.
For example, if someone says loudly, "I am NOT angry!"—are they angry? It sounds like it! We gather information beyond just the verbal words. Within ourselves, we are not always well-connected to how we truly feel. We might tell ourselves that we aren't upset, sad, or disappointed, but if we tune in, we can feel what is actually there. Having this somatic and heart-centered awareness is essential for our Dhamma practice and for keeping the mind wholesome.
Why Cultivate Wholesome Emotions?
Why is it important to know whether the mind is wholesome or unwholesome? Why try to free the mind from anger? What is the purpose?
When we look at the Noble Eightfold Path, keeping the mind wholesome plays a central role. In practical terms: if you are angry and you talk to your spouse, friend, or family member, is that going to be a helpful conversation? Will it improve the relationship? No. Unwholesome states do not lead to smooth or helpful interactions.
This connects directly to Right Speech and Right Effort on the path. If we speak from a place of anger, that energy leads to unhelpful results.
In the Buddha's teachings, it is considered skillful simply to calm the mind down so that negative emotions subside. That in itself is good. But we can take it a step further by actively cultivating positive, wholesome emotions.
Beyond the four brahmavihāras, other positive emotions mentioned in the suttas include:
Happiness and Joy (sukha and pīti): These range from simple worldly pleasures (like enjoying a treat or a pleasant interaction) to deeper forms of happiness derived from meaningful relationships, Dhamma practice, and meditation.
Gratitude (katannutā): A felt sense of appreciation.
While these emotions feel different from one another, they share common ground. We often recognize them by a feeling of the heart being open, relaxed, or calm. Loving-kindness (metta), for instance, might start as a simple sense of the heart relaxing, or it might expand into a deep physical warmth.
Guided Meditation: Connecting with the Heart
Let's take a moment to practice together. You can close your eyes and sit comfortably. We will use a few reflections to connect with two wholesome emotions and observe how the heart responds.
There is no goal or pressure here—just an gentle effort to check in with the heart.
Take a moment to first be aware of sitting here together in the hall. Feel the body.
In the same way, check in with the mind. How does the mind feel right now? Often it feels neutral, but observe whatever state is present.
To begin, let's connect to a sense of gratitude, which is an accessible gateway to the heart:
Bring to mind a sense of gratitude that we have all come together here—a rare opportunity.
Feel gratitude for being in a dry, comfortable, and cool place. Many people do not have this comfort right now.
Even if we have physical ailments, reflect on the health we do have today that allows us to sit here, whereas many others are currently sick in hospitals.
As you make these reflections, check in with the heart area. Notice if there is a subtle opening, a sense of softening, or a gentle relaxation in the chest.
Now, let's cultivate loving-kindness (metta):
Wish everyone here well: "May everyone here enjoy the best possible health."
Wish for everyone to have a healthy, peaceful mind.
Check in with the heart region again. Do you feel a sense of openness, warmth, or relaxation?
Next, let's cultivate appreciative joy (muditā):
Take a moment to rejoice in the good qualities of others. Reflect on how special it is that everyone here is giving their time and energy to listen to a Dhamma talk.
Rejoice in the Buddha, who discovered the Dhamma and shared it. Reflect on how wonderful it is that these teachings are still available to us today through the Sangha and lay practitioners.
Notice how the heart feels when bringing these qualities to mind. When you are ready, slowly open your eyes.
Personal Reflections: Bringing Open-Heartedness into Daily Life
Whether you felt a strong sensation or just a subtle relaxation during the practice, learning to stay connected to the heart in daily life is deeply valuable—especially during human interactions.
I would like to share two personal experiences from my life as a monk where keeping the heart open made a significant difference.
1. Seeking Permission from My Parents to Ordain
When I decided to ordain as a monk, I was in Malaysia at Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary (SBS) in Taiping. According to the monastic discipline (vinaya), a candidate must obtain explicit permission from their parents before ordaining.
My parents live in the Netherlands and didn't know much about monastic rules. I flew back to visit them, knowing I needed to ask for their permission, and also that I would likely be staying at the monastery for at least five years without returning home.
At first, I tried asking indirectly, but I realized that wasn't working. Eventually, my father figured it out and asked: "Do you need our permission?"
It was a very vulnerable moment for me. If they said no, I wouldn't be able to ordain. I tried to relax my mind and let go of the stress and worry, deciding that even if they said no, I would still live at the monastery as a lay practitioner. Fortunately, they supported my choice to ordain, though the thought of not seeing me for five years was very painful for them—especially for my mother.
On one of the last days before my flight, my family sat down for a meal together. There was underlying tension, and eventually, my parents began expressing their pain, frustration, and difficulties about my leaving. Hearing these things from your parents can be very hard.
In that moment, I managed to stay relaxed, keep my heart open, and just listen. Instead of getting defensive or arguing—which is a common reaction when we feel blamed or pressured—I focused entirely on understanding their perspective. I held space for my mother's grief, acknowledging how hard it was for her.
Because I kept my heart open, the conversation didn't turn into a fight. It allowed my parents to feel heard, and it allowed us to part in peace.
Later on, after I was ordained, my parents naturally wanted to call often. Because I needed space to adjust to monastic life, I occasionally postponed calls. My father sent me an upset email feeling pushed away.
When I received it, I felt stressed initially. I went to my kuṭi (monastic hut), meditated, and rebalanced my heart. Instead of responding with irritation, I reconnected with genuine gratitude for everything my parents had done for me. I wrote back a sincere, loving email expressing that gratitude and reassuring them that I would do my best to stay in touch.
Receiving a response written from an open heart helped them relax completely. It restored harmony without requiring complex arguments.
2. Practice on Almsround: Forgiveness and Patience
Another experience occurred right here in PJ while going on almsround (piṇḍapāta).
I often go on almsround near a local restaurant area on Sundays. One day, I stood with my bowl near an Indian restaurant. Since it was quiet, I stood there for a longer time than usual.
When a monk stands in one place for a long time without receiving food, people who are unfamiliar with monastics can get nervous, sometimes assuming the monk is asking for money. I noticed some tension building among the staff.
Eventually, a young manager came out and nervously asked me to sit down. I explained that monastics stand on almsround. Shortly after, the senior manager came out. He appeared quite stressed and angry. He quickly put some food in my bowl and forcefully said: "Go away now! Go away now!"
It was an intense moment because monastics rarely experience that kind of overt hostility on almsround.
The following week, I had to decide whether to return to that same spot. I checked in with my heart and noticed some fear and apprehension. But I reflected on how to adjust my approach: I decided I would only stand briefly so as not to cause discomfort, and if no one offered food, I would move on. Most importantly, I chose to let go of any resentment toward the manager and keep a spirit of forgiveness in my heart.
When I returned, a woman went inside the restaurant to buy food to offer me. While waiting, I saw the same senior manager walking toward me quite intensely. I thought, "Oh no, here it comes again."
To my surprise, he walked up to me with a warm portion of food and said in a firm but generous voice: "Chapati and chicken!" He had prepared food specifically to offer me.
A few months later, after I had been away from Malaysia for a few weeks due to visa requirements, I returned to his shop. When he saw me again, his face lit up, and he shouted joyfully: "Hey bro!" He was visibly relieved to see me back. Ever since then, he has been one of my regular and most generous supporters on almsround.
This experience reminded me that when we hold onto anger or resentment, we close off possibilities. By relaxing, forgiving, and keeping the heart open, difficult situations often resolve naturally.
The Dhamma Perspective: Openness as a Gateway to Insight
Why are these heart qualities so central to the broader Dhamma path?
Natural Peaceful States (Jhāna):
In the suttas, the Buddha recalls an experience from his childhood sitting under a rose-apple tree during a plowing festival. He was relaxed, peaceful, and unburdened by stress, and he naturally entered the first jhāna (deep meditative absorption). This shows us that deep meditation is not an artificial or impossible state; it is built upon natural states of letting go, ease, and an open heart.Receptivity to the Four Noble Truths:
When the heart is guarded, tight, or defensive, we react with resistance to life's challenges. When the heart is open and relaxed, we can observe our experience clearly without fighting reality. This receptivity allows us to see the impermanent (anicca), uncertain, and changing nature of the body and mind directly.
Practical Takeaways for Daily Practice
You don't need to wait for ideal conditions or long retreats to practice these heart qualities. You can start with small, consistent daily steps:
Evening Reflection (1–2 minutes): Before sleep, reflect on 2–3 things you are grateful for from the day. Consciously release any lingering tension by offering forgiveness to anyone who challenged you, and to yourself.
Heart Check-Ins: Throughout the day, occasionally pause and ask: "How does my heart feel right now? Is there tension and resistance, or is there ease and openness?"
Mindful Communication: Before entering a difficult conversation, take a moment to settle the heart. Speak only when you feel a sense of balance and goodwill.
Gradual Meditation Practice: Begin by using simple reflections on gratitude, friendliness (metta), or appreciation (muditā) to warm up your daily meditation for 5–10 minutes. Over time, allow the positive feeling in the heart to become the focus of your meditation.
By taking these small steps daily, wholesome emotions become our natural way of meeting the world, laying a strong foundation for peace, insight, and freedom.
May all beings be well, happy, and peaceful.